Spring Break. Forever. That's not a good thing.

An indictment of the idiocy of those pesky Millenials.

Let us turn our brains off for a moment: Spring Break isthe escape from the meandering and the mundane for misguided post-teens who just discovered cardboard existentialism.

Of course it is all bullshit, and that is kind of the point.

That's the message buried deep beneath all the crotch shots, scantily clad displays of NUBILE FLESH (you guys!), and gun imagery (Because Chekhov's gun, you guys!).

The story follows complete idiots who have, at least legally, attained a degree of expected maturity in the digital era. But they are so fucking out of control! Because society and immaturity, bro.

"Seeing all this money makes my pussy wet," says Vanessa Hudgens' character after the girls finally get their much needed cash to finance their existential imperative, via robbing a diner no less. Because Spring Break. And proving once and for all that millenials can't verbalize complex thoughts (double totes).

What follows is, again, a heavy handed indictment of the stupid-ass post adolecents in one-too-many montages as they have a great deal of fun and power trips to bad techno music.

If only that shit lasted forever, huh?

Enter James Franco 

The fake grill adds to the artsy.

So shit goes on where grown ups monologue each other sounding like children, sexy time is had, and guns are fired. Also: expletives! So this is, like, real dark shit, fellas. Deep stuff.

You know already know where this is gonna end, even if you haven't seen it. You have seen this story in countless other places that teaches you that if you are gonna have fun and misbehave, the story gods from the older generation have to punish your decadent ass in stupid fashion before gifting you a completely illogical ending.

Now, what is good about this thing? The Imagery. Pretty pictures play on the screen continually, perfectly colored, framed, and shot. A bunch of 'em. I'm positive you could build an entire different narrative off of these and it might actually turn better than whatever this was. Also,excising almost most of its fluff could trim its total running time to half an hour, maybe even less. Seems perfectly doable.

What results is more an exercise in filmmaking than a film. It's as if somebody made a whole movie entirely out of half baked ideas and fantastic cinematography, suddenly realized what a bind he was in, and then stuffed it with aggressive redundance disguised as ambiance.

This is the kind of thing that happens when somebody decides to tell the story of a bunch of people he doesn't understand.

To close:

"Just pretend it is a fucking videogame!

You can't be scared of shit!

You have to be hard!

Just get this fucking money and go away on Spring Break y'all!"

Speak the truth, sisters! Yeah...