About The Rover

Don't mistake the beard. This ain't about the bible.

The Rover is pretty much like JAWS but instead of a shark it is a swarthy, crusty, Australian bearded nightmare, and instead of the sea we have the dusty-ass Australian Outback sometime during the post apocalypse to creep us the fuck out... along a score of clanging metals and wavy synths.

  I'll try to keep the spoilers to a minimum (change things a bit) and, also, keep this thing short. Here we go.

  The setup for this flick is rather simple: guys goes for a drink. Fuckos stole his car when he wasn't looking. DICKS!

  Thus the stage is set for man-Jaws to do what man-Jaws does, and he don't give a fuck. He's like Bart after his elephant. Dude is ripped as fuck, mad, uncomfortable, and he won't quit. I mean... his car just got stolen. During the post-apocalypse.

You done fucked up son.

  I should, at this moment, take the time to say Robert "Twilight" Pattinson shows up in this movie in a co-starring role as a mentally handicapped person. And he looks like shit. And I mean... dude looks like actual bodily excretions. He doesn't look alright, which, I guess, was the hole point? Anyways,  here he's acting the shit out of every scene he's on like a champ.

Yo.

  He is only eclipsed by Pearce's mighty facial hair, but that is to be expected because that bad boy does more than three quarters of the acting in this whole movie.

Emotions.

  If you hear these words: "I'm looking for my CAR. It's got three people/men in it -- have you SEEN it?" chances are that wither shit is about to go down, or stuff will get plain uncomfortable... I mean, remember the Hugh Jackman movie? If you wanna describe the world of THE ROVER, well...

AIN'T THIS.

YEP...

In this little movie, danger lurks at every corner: it lurks on the road, it lurks in whore houses, lurks in the market, at the door, even at the doctor's  Not even the DOGS are safe. It's MAD MAX if everyone everyone had ashtma and not a single person knew how to drive properly.

  At some point, the flick takes the very confusing form of sorta watching an older man (Pierce) drag around a mentally challenged damsel in distress up and down (Pattinson) with very little regard for anything other than showing whom owns whom or what... so... in a way, it is kind of a LOT like Twilight. Except for this movie being actually GOOD and having some actual unexpected twists. There's a cool element of what resembles a battle of wits between Man-Jaws and Twilight... and I say resembles 'cause you just know someone's out of his depth, here. And he doesn't know it...

Keep fightin' the good fight, son...

  All in all, the flick is akin to takig a snapshot of a very, very fucked up mundane situation and squeezing it until the very last drop of drama spills out of it. And that is all I got 'cause I don't feel like spoiling this little flick.
  In short: watch it. Watch the beard deliver the science of acting. Watch for Pattinson's best rendition of Bella Swan you could ever ask for. Watch for the nice, little twist at the end.